My story
I never expected to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom. Growing up, I was sure of a few things – I would always work full time, I would always have a nanny, and I would have three children. That worked out great for the first three years. And then, as I was home on maternity leave preparing to have my second child, things began to shift in me. During the four months that I was home after the birth of my second child, my son, I caught a glimpse of how much happened in my three-year-old daughter’s world when I wasn’t there. Surprisingly, her day did not go into suspension while I was at work – it seemed that she was actually living most of her day without me there to be a part of it. It sounds silly to say that took me by surprise, but it did. I found myself questioning what I always thought would be my life – part of a two-career marriage, happily dedicated to both my career and my family.
Fast forward a year, and I had quit a job that I loved to be home full time with my children. I left the position of Director of Human Resources at a large professional services firm, managing a staff of 53 who supported an office of 2,000 employees. I had a great office with a view of downtown San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge, an admin assistant to make my life easier, colleagues that I enjoyed and respected, lots of yummy business lunches that someone else cooked and paid for, and a six-figure salary that allowed us to take some very nice vacations.
And I have never regretted that decision – not for a minute. I am grateful for the dedicated time I have had with my children. As another mom who had made a similar decision said to me “I never knew what I was missing.”
And then a few years ago, as I was weaning my third and youngest child, I started to think about would be the next thing to dedicate my life to. I felt like my 20’s were dedicated to building my career, my 30’s to creating my family, and, approaching 40, I wondered what the next decade would be dedicated to. While managing and nurturing my family would always be a priority, I could see forward to a time when my youngest would be starting Kindergarten and I would have more time. I knew that at that time, I would want something for myself – something that I could get excited about – something that would be more personally fulfilling than nutritious meal-planning and grocery shopping, caught-up laundry, and on-time carpooling.
I began working with a personal coach to figure out what that next thing might be. That search eventually led me to pursue a master’s degree in integral psychology at JFK University. I found that I LOVED being in grad school at this stage of my life. The subjects I began to study (philosophy, religion, psychology) fascinated me, and the time I spent in class and at the library were energizing and fun. As I got further into the program, I began to explore one of the certificates I could pursue as part of the master’s degree – a certificate in life coaching. I was intrigued by the vision of working with other women like me – women who placed a high value on taking care of their families, but also wanted something in their lives that was JUST for them – whether that be a new career, a revitalized career, further schooling, a hobby, or better relationships with friends and family. And I found there were so many women like that in my community.
Three years later, I graduated with my certificate in Life Coaching, and launched Chrysalis Life Coaching. Now I spend my weeks balancing home and family responsibilities with a business and profession that I love. I work the hours that work for me, and, just like when I started grad school, I find that this work gives just as much back to me in energy to do other things. When you are really engaged in something that you love, it sparks creative energy that shows up all over your life.